I've done something. I've done it my entire career. In fact, I've done it my entire life. I call kids names. It's true.
A few days back (or maybe more, I have no idea) I read some comments on a post in an SLP group about using names for kids. Specifically, the word ‘kiddo'. I read people horribly disgusted by the use of the word, and those defending it. I had a pretty strong internal reaction, but in my 30's I've learned to step back and think before speaking. Being a passionate person, this has always been a real weakness for me, but the words I read really made me reflect. So much that, I've continued to think about it and felt the need to write this post.
I thought about how I use the words kiddo, peanut, princess, handsome, and even pumpkin head, to refer to the children in my life, even my own. Even the ones who aren't my students. Forgive my memory, but I can't remember the third grader's name in the classroom that I pull from once a week, but when he says “Hi Ms. Alcorn!”, I feel compelled to respond to him and it probably will be “hey kiddo!”. I was horrified at the thought that that would make me less than good at my job in the eyes of some other people. Other SLPs. I felt defensive. I hate that feeling. I love my students so very very very much. I respect them, their families, and their future. I call them names out of nothing but love. I think they know that. They giggle, some older ones roll their eyes and smile, but I am confident that each one of them know that I am a person who they know loves them.
It makes me incredibly sad that we have so many battles to face as school SLPs, that we spend any time arguing over the use of a word, that I'm quite positive no one uses in a derogatory way. We ALL love our students. It's why we do the job. So my use of the word kiddo or pumpkin head doesn't really matter.
I challenge you to encourage your fellow SLPs, your fellow special education teachers, and your staff today. Bring positivity to work today. Our jobs, as public school employees are difficult enough and it's so easy to get bogged down in the dumb stuff. It doesn't matter how we show our love to our students, as long as we show it. And our peers need that support just as much as our kids do. Kiddo.
xoxo,
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Thank you for writing this. I also read that feed and felt the same thing. I too am guilty of calling them kiddos. I invest so much into these little ones. The time, emotional and physical energy- they become important to me and as a sign of affection, I call them kiddos. These kids know that they are important to me and I just can’t bring myself to call them “students” or “clients”. All the personalization and love comes out of it. I invest too much and care too much to do that. I wouldn’t be half the SLP I am if I didn’t care and this is a sign of that affection.
Hey Crazy Speech World Lady (if I may call you that :)), I appreciate your post! .It’s so easy to get sucked down these days and your positivity is contagious. Bring it on!
Keep on name-calling! I LOVE IT and support you and other SLPs 100%! Continue with confidence!
I love the positive influence you have! Thanks for sharing it! You are exactly right…I love my students and they love me…that’s why we do what we do!
Amen! I love all of my kiddos!
Couldn’t agree with you more! I definitely use the word kiddo – not in reports or progress notes or anything official, but during sessions and casual conversations. I don’t see anything wrong with it, but of course we’re all allowed our own opinions. Keep on preaching positivity girl! One of my favorite quotes: “Be the reason someone smiles today!”
Have a fantastic week!
Abby
Schoolhouse Talk
Amen, Jenn! I am also an SLP who calls kids by little pet names. They don’t seem to mind it, and they don’t let anyone else call them that either! They say, only Miss Burrows calls me that. So they know it is special to them. I think there are enough things that are rotten in life to bring us down that giving a child a special name, which makes them instantly connect to you and smile, is a great thing and I support it 100%. I know when I worked in the nursing homes after school it was frowned upon, the staff felt it was insulting to call them sweetie, or dear. I revised my sayings to be Hello, Jenn, my sweetie, rather than Hello sweetie! That way it was not considered insulting in the nursing home and degrading and babying them. In elementary school, this is a different story totally! Thanks for supporting the expressive communication and connections with the kids, in a positive way, which is better than the dreaded way of having your name be spoken very formal like, first and middle name, by parents, meaning, uh oh! I think I am going to get it now, but what did I do?? I think that most of us SLPs who work in the schools are very sensitive and compassionate when it comes to “our” kids on our caseloads, so thanks for reminding us to keep our chins up and keep the positivity going! 🙂 Happy Wednesday! <3 Mwaah
I am a 48-year-old graduate student working on a waiver in an elementary school. There is an SLP there that is a few years younger than me that has been practicing for 17+ years. One day I was discussing one of my “kiddos” with her and rather than answer the question that I was asking her, she chastised me for using the word kiddo – said that hearing that was like nails on a chalkboard. I was stunned – at a complete loss for words. Never did get my actual question answered…
I have a viewpoint from a parent. First, I applaud your positivity, caring & investment in students. And I know these names come only from a place of caring, love & goodness. But I wonder if these names are used because these students are receiving special education services at school or in a private therapy setting? Let me explain. I have two children in the same school system. My oldest started receiving gifted & talented services in the first grade. I do not recall a time when she or other students in G&T were called my these pet names. They were always called by their given names. If they were called another name, it was something like “superstar, rock star” or other names of admiration & achievement. My youngest has Down syndrome. When he started in the same elementary school, he was immediately called “kiddo, cutie, sweetness, sweet pea, etc”. And not just by his therapists, it was teachers, librarians, staff, pretty much everyone in the school. I know it was from a good place, but still singles out kids who are different. Our principal has done a good job of saying every student in her school is a Trojan (the school mascot) and that is how she addresses them “good morning Trojans” or “how are our Trojans doing in speech (or PE, reading, etc) today?” And our son has thankfully developed the speech skills to correct anyone who calls him something other than his given name….even me…if I say something rhyming like “good job Bob”….he rolls his eyes and says “you know my name isn’t Bob, mom”. Nothing like being corrected by a kid who was supposed to be speech delayed!
Jaime, I can’t speak to your experience but I will tell you that I use rock star a lot with my special education students. I don’t really use it as a name, but when they impress me, I enthusiastically tell them they are rock stars. Sweetie and buddy are mostly for when I don’t know a name or can’t remember it. I imagine I would call regulare education kids rock stars as well, but I don’t work with them.
It is most certainly NOT why I use nicknames. I use them for one of the same reasons the author stated; unfortunately, I just cannot remember all 300 names of the students that attend the elementary school I work in. But when I walk down the hallway, step in a classroom, or dismiss students to their busses, I use nicknames…like friend or buddy. Honestly, the students I work with – I know and use their names!
This is a great point. I think we do need to be careful that our words are either uplifting or serve relationship-building, and not for defining a child in a certain way. For example, “rock star” is for putting in a lot effort, “silly goose” is for bringing fun into the session and making others laugh. I try to to stay away from “sweetie” and “kiddo” just because they sound very generic.
Nicely written! I agree and love my little turkeys!
I am totally guilty of “name-calling” too! I call my students “friends,” “Mr./Ms. (first name),” and “Ladycakes.” I also do Early Intervention, and I think my warmth and playfulness with the young children really informs my practice with K-2. I think children are sometimes forced to be “older” in maturity than they are, especially nowadays with the reduction of play-based learning and increase in testing. Though I think the term “kiddos” is kind of an obnoxious word, why should I care if people use it as long as they care about the children!
Proverbs 12:18- “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Your passion speaks for itself. I love reading your posts even though I am in a high school setting! Thank you for all you do.
Sometimes we need to lighten up. No one uses these words in a derogatory way! I call my kids “friends”, “sunshine”, etc. and it makes them smile. Nice post!!
I to am guilty!! Sugarplum comes out of my mouth many times during the day!! Little man is another one for me. My kiddo’s do not seem to mind at all!! I to agree with the other comments about the positivity needed for us. THANKS for all that you do my dear!!!
Hi, When I read your blog it made me realize that I use all those words, titles, and pet names for my students as well. Except for kiddo… For me I find that the this word was over used by a person in power, who shall we say didn’t always use her power for good. I think when I hear that word it becomes like “nails on a chalkboard”. This is my reason and I am sure it is not many others reason for their dislike of the word. I am surprised when I am reading something that is professional in nature and the student or client is referred to as a Kiddo or a group of kiddos.
THANK YOU!! Couldn’t agree more 🙂 Love, love, love this post!
Agree with you completely–I call my students “sweetie”, or ‘hon’ a lot, and they like it. I’ll even say “dude” sometimes to them–hey we’re in CA, so it’s cool, and they usually don’t mind. Of course I know their names, and use these endearments when I get to know them and never in an IEP meeting, cause that would be weird.
This southern girl couldn’t agree more! I come from the land of pet names for everyone. Other teachers and even strangers call ME “baby” or “honeybun” or “cher.” It’s part of our culture. Sometimes I wish people wouldn’t get so easily offended.
I couldn’t agree with you more! It can be difficult to remain positive some days but it sure is worth the effort! Thanks for the encouragement!
I totally agree with you and can appreciate this post. My morning duty is monitoring the breakfast line and giving out breakfast cards. So between the kids I see every morning plus my students, almost everyone has a pet name. I try to remember all the kids’ names and am very intentional about making sure that I address the kids by their name but I have brain farts (often). I also use special names for my niece, nephews, and godkids.
I could not agree with you more! Thank you for always inspiring me to be a better SLP and professional.
Thank you for writing this. I didn’t respond to the person who posted the comment about calling our students kiddo because I thought it a ridiculous pet peeve in the first place. Find a real cause to complain about is what I wanted to say. Your response is wonderful!
YES! YES! YES! I, too, am “guilty” of using pseudo names for my students. I loved this post and it really hit home. We are judged by so many things we say and do, even out of compassion for another. You said it all very well. Thank you for this post. Thank you for doing all you do for the kids and other professionals!
I have no problem with using it to say “hey kiddo” but if you are in a speech meeting or writing emails, talking on the phone with fellow SLPs or teaching professionals, I don’t think it sounds very intelligent. They are your students or clients. Not your kiddos.
I feel like it should be used as you wrote Jenn, as a term of endearment, not a label for your students/clients
Thanks Jenn! It is so funny to me, how our Facebook groups get bombarded with negative posts about what bugs certain people. I have almost unsubscribed so many times in the past few months.
Like Becki, I started in the hospital setting 30 yrs. ago, and calling a patient ‘Sweetie” was considered derogatory…then I switched to the schools and my supervisor told me not to use the term “kids” because that is a baby goat…(rolling eyes)…Seriously? Now people get offended by “Kiddos”?! I say, “Kiddos’, “Littles”, “Buddy”, “Cutie”…whatever you call them, your smile and tone of voice let the kids know who loves them!
Great post and well said. I enjoyed the comments as well. I am guilty of ‘name calling as well’ and I most likely will continue to do so. I think it is a whole lot better to call a child by ‘kiddo’ or ‘friend’ or ‘cutie’ than actually let a child know you don’t remember their name. In my school I am the only SLP and as that 1 SLP I go to every door to retrieve students. The whole class sees me and knows my name. I don’t know all 351 of them-I do well to get the names of my kids I am picking up. I would much rather call them kiddo or pally than have them realize the truth. I also am well aware that the majority of my kids have lots of other names that they are called at home and the majority of them are not said in a good tone of voice or with love. Sadly our kids hear things that we did not hear until we were quite grown up. More’s the pity. Sadly ‘kiddo’ probably is the kindest way some of them have been spoke to in a VERY long time. I, for 1, intend to be friendly and ‘name call’ on.. Not really judging those who don’t like it but kids grow up way to fast now a days and have plenty of time to answer to formal names as opposed to something that makes them feel a little special even if it is for the briefest of times.
It startled me too to see such a debate over saying the word “kiddo”! I have so much love for each and every student in my school! When having a discussion with my staff, you’ll often hear me refer to one of my students as -one of my kiddos! They are special to me, and I happily share that they are one of my kiddos! Not once have I ever meant that word in a negative way. I also greet my students with sweetheart, sweetie, hon, or princess. Keep on loving those kiddos!
I totally agree with you and see even “kiddo” as a term of endearment! For those unknown kids, I call them either “buddy” or “sweetie.” For my SLP kidlets, I sometimes call them (*gasp*) “lovey” as it just rolls out of mouth with ease at times..maybe because I feel genuine affection for my kids that I serve 🙂 Never had a complaint and as a parent, I would LOVE to know that someone at my kids’ school was using a term of endearment with them. Keep on keepin’ on Jenn….you’re awesome!
I love my students, too, and I mean no disrespect when I call them sweetie, honey and Buddy!
Jenn,
Thank you so much for speaking out about this! Some people have too much time on their hands. I agree with you! By the way, I’m a name caller and I’m proud of it! Amen!
Love this post! If anything, I think the fact you feel comfortable calling them kiddo says you’ve built a relationship with them!!! If they were just a random student, you’d only be able to call them by their formal name. I personally think that “kiddo” can be a term of endearment, used when we have built a relationship with our clients/students. I’ve read from a few SLPs that it’s not “professional”. As Tara mentioned above, when it comes to professional writing, then I definitely agree this is not a term to be used. But in my mind, a significant part of our profession is building those relationships, allowing them to trust us and feel comfortable with us. How many of our students want to come in to our room and hug us at some point in the day? Quite a few, I’m sure! Should we say no because that’s not “professional” either? I think as long as the client/student is comfortable, there is no harm.
I’m sure everyone feels comfortable “drawing the line” at different places, but just because someone thinks differently, doesn’t mean we need to put them down! 🙂
In a world that has become SO “politically correct” and sensitive about everything, let’s just all lighten up a little bit! We’ve got more important things to worry about! (Like tomorrow’s IEP meeting….)
Thanks for this uplifting post, Jenn!
Amen, Sister Speechie 🙂
I do love this post. We SLPs objectify. We objectify our language and its sounds down to little objects that children can almost see and play with, and get better at using.
It is also important to realize that when we do call someone a name, it objectifies them. I can’t remember all the names of the children on my caseload, either. It is a perfect moment for me to fumble, be imperfect, and teach children, mistakes help us to learn.
Objects need labels, and we are all sensitive to those…but they are just that, labels. Using a person’s name is more formal, allowing for endless possibilities. Both are appropriate, just so long as we realize what we are doing.
When someone calls me Honey, Sweetheart, or Turkey, they’d better be my friend or be nice enough for me to forgive.
Thanks for making me think about this issue.
I too was horrified by the fb feed as here in Australia we are renowned for nicknames, pet names and abbreviations as terms of endearment and it plays a huge role in rapport because kids can call us names as well sometimes. I loved your post and don’t think anyone should say they are ‘guilty’ of using the word kiddo, because it is totally an extra tool in your toolkit!
Like you said in the post, I had to refrain from commenting because I can totally understand why some people may be offended but it needed to be an ‘aha!’ And ‘wow!’ Kind of discussion rather than an opinionated one. Oh well, keep doing what you are doing and know that us aussies are probably doing it more 😉