I'm tired. The kind of tired that seeps right down into your bones. The kind where I don't blog much and you wonder if Jenn fell off the planet. Nope, I'm here. I might be in the corner rocking with all the lists of things I have to do and the unfinished schedule staring at me. I don't know how anyone has the energy to be blogging right now, but three cheers for my friends who are giving you something to read!!!
I have to be honest, I wasn't even sure if I was coming back to this school gig again. Without getting really long winded, I hate what is happening in education right now. My own evaluation scores were released to the public last year, along with many of my colleagues…and while I have absolutely nothing to hide or be ashamed of, I felt mortified and betrayed. I hate how hard we all work in the midst of so much criticism, so much judgment. Everything seems to have gotten so complicated. And I just want to help my students. I just want to make their lives easier. No test score will ever tell you how far they have come with their communication skills.
Lucky for me, I get to help our students learn language in their classroom through inclusion services, which are my fave. And in those classrooms the past two weeks, I found my happy place. This week when a 5 year old student (with autism) put together the most beautiful 4 word sentence, my heart exploded. Ahhhhh, yes. This is where I belong. Those adorable faces are why I come back.
A few weeks ago I was at church listening to a message about life changing conversations and community and it hit me what an awesome opportunity God has given me through Crazy Speech World to reach so many people. All the conversations I have had, friendships I have made, and the community I have discovered…that I never would have if I wasn't blogging. I don't talk a ton about my faith on the blog, but it is a huge part of my Crazy Speech World. I pray each day that I am able to do His work and reach His children. He put me right back in the school, right where I belong. He put me here on this blog. I am so grateful to be a part of this community. I am so grateful for you.
And I promise, after 38 more revisions to my schedule and I'm settled…I'll be back to posting so much you'll be sick of it 😉
xoxo,
Colleen Makarevich says
I was wondering where you were! I think you do amazing work! Keep focused on your students! They need you!
Mary says
I’m so glad you decided to stay in the school setting! We need you. The KIDS need you. You are awesome! I can’t believe they published the evaluation scores. The way I see it, the only score that counts in my book is my observation score. I can’t control the scores that are tied to what the rest of the school is doing.
Kristi Burckhard says
Thank-you for this post and all you do. You are SO right on and I am praying right along with you! We are here for His children, to do His work, and only for His glory!
Thank-you for that reminder! Have a blessed school year!
Anne P. says
Hang in there! The children of the world need more professionals like you. Take extremely good care of yourself now, get some extra rest and know that you are most likely right where you are supposed to be. Thank you for all the inspiration!
Anne
Casey says
Jenn, know that all of us that are schoolSLPs are facing many similar feelings and obstacles. God is working through you, as he is through all of us who face struggles just to help others. Continue on with the wonderful work you do, and thank you so much for all you share with those of us in far-away places! God bless!
Rachelle McCranie says
Jenn. I am so glad you stayed. Be proud of the positive changes the task force has made and how many lives you touch. See you soon
Maryann says
Jenn,
Thank you for a beautiful blog, just what I needed to hear this morning! I can relate to how you are feeling- My schedule in front of my coffee as I type. Funny, I never read blogs before work, but clicked on yours before work today, and am so glad I did. Thank you for sharing, especially your faith, coincidence that I clicked on your blog? I think not! Have a great school year, focusing on all the reasons we have to be grateful.
Maryann
Andrea Chesick says
You go girl! Stay strong because you are amazing and your kids need you!
Judy Hale says
Jenn,
I will NEVER get sick of you & your blogs–so keep doing it! I was also feeling quite low this week, and then I had an email from a parent of a former student who remembered me from elementary school and wanted his mom to let me know how he was doing–well, he’s a student on the spectrum who is now a senior in high school, taking advanced placement classes, and is in the running for Valedictorian at graduation this year! Brought tears to my eyes, and made my day. It’s these things that we cannot quantify with a test that keeps us doing what we do, so keep it up! Love you and your blog.
Judy Hale (aka flamingonut)
Donna says
Dear Jenn,
Please know that you are not alone. I am ready to give up this field because of the unrealistic demands. I am sad to say that I no longer recommend this field to my young relatives and friends. I don’t know where it went wrong but someone has to speak the truth about school therapy. We are not reading teachers, or behavior specialists, or anything else. Speech Pathologists must be allowed to remediate articulation errors, alleviate the pain of stuttering, and heal abused voices. My own caseload was over 95, as a contractor. The school principal decided to only offer 3 days a week for the position this year. So, I am still at home. I know reality will hit the school office at some point, and I may get the same urgent call I got last year. So, Jenn, keep trusting The Lord who fights for us, and makes our way smooth.
I was so very happy to find your blog! Please keep blogging and living for Jesus.
Nikki says
I talk myself out of changing job settings nearly every year. 🙂 Special Ed changes at the State or Federal level that are ridiculous (and then they change it back), IEP program changes that make things more difficult, district-level budget cuts, scheduling nightmares, no caseload caps, moving classrooms two years in a row…I hear you, girl. Last year I was also very depleted. It helped that my summer was relaxing and refreshing, and I’ve backed out of several leadership commitments outside of work to give myself the recoup time. The evaluation system never truly reflects what we do, nor have I ever had an SLP conduct my observations, so I don’t put much stock in the feedback. Publishing them is terrible, I agree. And it’s easy to become disillusioned with the whole thing. If you have to cut back on blog posting, that is okay. I’ve heard good things about Lysa TerKeursts’ new book “The Best Yes” re. this topic. Also glad SLPs can support and encourage each other.
Sara says
I missed you dear! Glad you are back 🙂 Love everything about this post. Everything. And agree with you 100%. I’m thankful for our internet-friendship even though we are lots of miles a part 🙂 xoxoxo
Andrea says
Prayers for strength and perseverance for everyone trying to get schedules and serves started again! Prayers of thanksgiving for a forum where we can learn and grow as SLPs – Thank you for all you do, Jenn! Hang in there!!!
Jenna says
Love ya friend!!
Teresa Yarbor says
I understand you totally and I share your faith as well. I don’t blog, but I don’t think I would have the energy to do it. Thanks for sharing with us.
Jill Shackelford says
I have missed your posts and I’m so glad you’re back! I hear you loud and clear about how challenging this job is getting. I often say my job is 50% paperwork and I could have saved a lot of money by going to secretarial school! And I didn’t know it was even legal to make evaluation scores public!
Anyway, I love your heart and how you strive to keep Christ as your Master and Director of your work. My quick prayer each morning is similar to yours: that I would do my work as unto the Lord and make someone’s day a little easier. Keep shining bright!
Felice Clark says
Jenn, scheduling for me this year was a giant nightmare. I also transitioned to junior high, so I have many transitions. Luckily, I had blogged over the summer, so I have posts to share. Last week went so much better! Prior to that I wasn’t sure how to get myself up in the morning because of the dread of work. Now, the kids have adjusted to me and we are doing the fun stuff…..THERAPY! Thanks for the post.
Reena says
I have been a speech path going on 18 years. When I say that I almost can’t believe it. Each year I think to myself, HOW on EARTH can I do another year? I always do. It is ALWAYS the students that bring me back.
I found your blog last school year and totally fell in love with your story, your journey, and your amazing materials. You bless children and your SLP colleagues. Thank you for all you do and for all you share! You are an amazing therapist….nope, I don’t even need to observe you in person to know. The passion you have for it makes it totally apparent!
Regardless of all the changes, challenges, and criticism….the students you serve need you. You are making a significant difference to them. That is God’s work….that is what matters!
May your school year be blessed with triumphs big and small. Thanks again!
Stefani says
You are not alone – by any stretch of the imagination. So many of us are completely disenfranchised with our current educational system and it’s honestly enough to make me want to home school my own children – IF we wouldn’t be at each other’s throats by the end of the day! 😉 Keep praying and know that many of us are praying with you. We all need His help – there is no way that we can carry this burden by ourselves. And keep celebrating those successes – even if there’s no way for them ever to be measured in an evaluation, you know that you’ve succeeded! Hugs to you.
Alicia says
It’s so sad when teachers with hearts sold out for their jobs are put in such crazy predicaments. Really, those are the people we need to be trying to keep in the profession! My prayers are with you for renewed strength and energy!
Kelsey says
Thank you so much for this post! I am currently looking through your posts because I haven’t in a while, and am feeling so overwhelmed that I’m having a hard time being productive. I feel encouraged after reading this & just wanted to thank you for sharing your feelings with us!
Erin Merritt says
Jenn,
This is Erin Merritt (Edmunds) from undergrad at FSU. Just wanted you to know that I work in the public schools and have been using some of your materials in speech! I love it…and I am jealous that you are so creative 🙂 I totally get where you are coming from with the evaluations. This year is the first year that I will be evaluated like the teachers are. I am nervous and uncomfortable with it just like you said. That being said, I know that this is the place for me at this point in my career. I just wanted to tell you that I stalk your page and buy your materials 🙂 So thank you!
Rachel says
Thank you for this honest post. I so needed this tonight. I’m right there with you!
Allison says
Love your honesty and transparency. I can relate. Welcome back!